Vincent Gallo's interview reminded me how I used to think about boys.
He described his new movie, The Brown Bunny is about how men feels,
in essense, and how sensitive men are.
I used to think boys stand aloof from worldly things compared to girls.
I believed that they are more free from mundanity and I was envious of
them. I wanted to be like them because they seemed to be more beautiful
and free as they are while girls are required some extra decorations
or makeups to be considred attractive. I was always at a loss since I
thought none of these decorations would suite me. I wanted to bring
myself closer to boys than girls.
As I grow older, I come to understand that they do have their own
sufferings, struggles and sadness. Maybe most girls were already
aware that when they were younger, but I guess I idealized them
too much.
Boys often surpise me how fragile they are as they are strong at
the same time. I am charmed with their virility and sensitivity.
I am attracted to them because of the glimpse of this contradiction
they show me now and then.
Since boys are quite vulnerable in fact, and also feel the pressure of
not showing their weakness to others and being strong, it is very rare
that they show this beauty of combination. But when they show me
every once in a while, it is fleeting and beautiful.
My office is located in a skyscraper. Whenever an
earthquake happens while I am working in my office,
I always think:
I would die here if this earthquake is a massive one.
I would be dropped into the ocean if this building is
broken off in the middle.
I would not be able to get out from this building even
if I try to leave here from escape stair. We would fall
down one after another since my office is in the middle of
such a tall building. I would probably end up being stepped
on and fall down on other people and die in the emergency
staircase.
I would be burried in the rubble if this bulding just collapse.
It would be such a huge mountain of rubble. And I would be
beyond recognition by the time when I get to the ground
from the height of my office. No one would be able to identify me.
I know these ideas sound disasterous and too pessmistic or stupid.
But they are the ideas always spinning in my head during the quake.
They are actually reassuring for me though.
It is probably because my nature is very passive. Just waiting for
something happens. Other than these ideas, Hole's
"Miss World"
was in my head today.
I sent a mail to
RETiSONiC to ask when they are coming to Japan
since they are planning lots of gigs in the US recently.
And Jason replied to my mail. He said they might come to
Japan next Spring maybe along with their first full album.
Great! I'm really excited about it since his previous band,
Bluetip's gig at Shinjuku LOFT with some Japanese bands
like Naht, Cowpers and
54-71 was one of the best gigs I have
ever seen.
I'm currently trying to migrate my blog to
MovableType.
Obtained my domain name at
GoDaddy and installed
MovableType Version 2.64 according to the
instruction.
Until the initialization of the system has been done so far,
but now I don't feel quite right about my domain name.
Maybe I should have not worked on it that late at night.
Or I'll get used to it pretty soon, perhaps.
This
tutorial in
TokyoShoes was very helpful for me to
understand the basic and to see what kind of services are
necessary to start blogging with MT.
Another stories related to my new mobile phone.
I was constrained to change my mobile phone number and
mail address because the carrier is different from the old phone.
Therefore, I had to send out mails to my friends to let them know
my new number and address.
First story has something to do with my mail address. My new mobile
phone mail address starts with the word "tenjira". It means to have
a tea in the sun for breakfast, but I am not sure what language it is.
I took it from Flowchart's album,
Tenjira .
Three of my friends asked me the meaning of the word so far.
Interestingly or maybe I should say naturally according to their
profession and experiences, these are the friends who have been
involved in translation. Others didn't ask me. And out of these three
friends, two of them told me that they were kind of surprised that
this one word can have that much meaning.
Their reaction was quite interesting for me because they are the
people I have been friends with most closely at present, and their
response was quite similar. Pehaps, it is one of the evidence that
I like people who are sensitive to the languages. I am not sure if I
am sensitive enough because if I am very sensitive, I might have
to be too embarassed to write my blog in English. But at least I am
brave enough not to be too afraid of the language and making mistakes.
I still have some eagerness to learn and am in the growth process,
always.
And the second story starts from a casual question by an old friend
since university in response to my notice. He asked me how I have
been since I met him last time. His innocent question got me thoughtful
how I have been for last 3 or 4 months.
I play futsal almost every weekend and also ultimate once in a while.
They are good exercises. They clear up my mind every weekend.
In regards to music, I go to gigs a couple of times a month lately
and enjoy them. Besides I found out that I like folk music as well
as fast and loud hardcore music by a friend's recommendation this
summer. It was a very nice discovery for a muso like me to find
some music, which is new for me and I can enjoy a lot.
I watched good movies and some of them made me think a lot. I got
good food for thoughts. Not only good for thoughts, strong emotions
were raised by them. Happiness, sadness, etc.
I had a good time during the two weeks holiday in Ireland and England.
I enjoyed the peaceful, beautiful and sometimes amazing scenery, and
heard a lot of interesting stories. And also had a good time with friends.
My work has been busy, but I work on the project I wanted to.
Even though I have some complaints, but basically I like what I do
at work.
I have friends at work, outside of work, since university, etc.
And I talk with them, write to them, hear from them, and meet them.
I have friends, and they are good friends of mine no matter how I am.
LIke when I am down or happy. And I believe I am a good friend of
theirs, too.
I started this blog in July and it's been quite helpful for myself to
clarify my thoughts and to keep notes about the discovery I had.
So many things have been clarified since I started writing and I
wanted to describe and note the hapiness of the discovery and
achievement. Besides, writing about good memories made me
blissfully happy. It is basically self-content, but having a comment
from a friend about these happy memories made me even happier.
Thus, I thought back on last a couple of months and sorted out as
above. A friend's innocent question made me realize how I have been.
Overall, I have been doing quite well. So, my answer was "I have
doing been fine".
They reminded me of the pleasure of being wrapped in the sound of guitar.
As Meias is a Japanese (so-called?) post-hardcore band started by the members
of ex There is the light that never goes out and Blue Beard. I did not expect them
playing mostly instrumental numbers. what I imagined before the gig was more like
normal post-hardcore stuff...loud guitar sound along with shouting vocal. It was a
nice surprise for me that I could enjoy the music without vocals that much. Their
tension and sharpness was something I was missing since the break up of my
favorite band, Cowpers. Unfortunately there is no sample audio file from either
As Meias and There is the light that never goes out. I seldom find them from
Japanese bands on the web and it is pity.
I have been waiting for Vincent Gallo's new movie, the Brown Bunny,
since I read his and Chloe Sevigny's interview on
CUT magazine.
I can't wait, but not only as a substitute, I felt ilke to watch
Buffalo '66 again.
I have seen it once a couple of years ago. I liked it then, but a bit
annoyed by Billy Brown's nervousness. My favorite scene was in the
bowling alley, Christina Ricci dancing with King Crimson's Moon Child.
Still Billy's restlessness annoys me, but the lovableness takes over
after a while. He is painfully sensitive. He appears to be so arrogant,
but so fragile and simple after all. His behavior is loaded with
contradictions. It is very humane. It is charming.
